Man, I Wish I Were Emo Right Now

As of last night, I am a complete and utter ASSHOLE.

I've liked Girl A for a while now, and she likes me back. She decided she didn't want to date until the summer, though, which was fine with me. I still had to work things out with Girl B, anyway, and I never DID talk to her about it. But Girl B is not the problem. Girl C recently broke up with her boyfriend, and I've kinda liked her too. The other night, she finally admitted that she liked me (which wasn't a surprise, I was just waiting to see when she'd say it), and now we've been talking more and more. But now I'm starting to cut Girl A out of my life entirely. I'm doing to her what I never wanted to do to her, what's been done to her so many times before: I've chosen another girl over her, and I didn't even mean to. And Girl A blames herself for this! Maybe that's the hardest part. Knowing that I screwed this up, and she's beating herself up about it.

Girl C (You should know who you are), if you're reading this, please know that I really do like you, however mixed up I am right now.

Girl A (You also know who you are), if you're reading this, please know that it isn't your fault. I was the one who screwed it up for us, with my own impatience. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time it's happened.... But I digress. I was the one who screwed it up for us, and I'd give anything in the world just to take back what I did to you... And I hope beyond hope that this isn't beyond repair. I wouldn't blame you at all if you didn't want to give us a chance anymore. I hope that you do, but I understand if you don't. I'm not worth all of this aggravation. I CAN'T be an Edward. If I were a real Edward, I wouldn't be deserting you like this. I can't believe you're taking this so graciously, and I think that hurts more than anything else right now. Scream at me, hit me, say you'll never talk to me again, do SOMETHING. This silent acceptance is what's hitting me hardest, because you're too good to me, and I don't deserve it.

And now that all you strangers are done reading this, we now return to our regularly scheduled sarcastic/cynical persona.

My apologies for making you read all that.